Holy Sand Paper

Have you ever read something whether it’s an article, a blog post, or a book and a sentence or a thought just sticks with you? I’ve been reading this book called “The Dude’s Guide to Manhood” and in the chapter about devotion the author makes a simple statement.

She will be holy sandpaper in your life. Rubbing off the things that keep you from being the man you are called to be.

That line hit me like I had just opened the door to a wind tunnel. I didn’t finish the chapter. I couldn’t finish the chapter. I just kept thinking about it over and over.
One of my mentees asked me how I knew that my wife was the one and I simply responded that it was a gut feeling. But after reading this I realized that this is why my wife is my wife.
I had dated girls before her that I was pretty serious with but as I would go to look at a ring I had a feeling it wasn’t right. I didn’t know it at the time as to why Christen felt right. We’ve been married for almost a year and a half and dated since 2011 but it wasn’t until today that I realized that she is my holy sandpaper.
We have arguments talks where I’m upset and she says “you know in the bible it says…” and I get frustrated and say “I don’t care,” or “I don’t want to hear that right now.” But truth is *sigh* she’s right.
That’s what sandpaper does. Takes something rough and makes it smooth. I’m the roughest thing I know and she’s the best sandpaper I could get.

There’s Gotta Be Something

Recently I’ve been sitting at home in the evening with these urges. Maybe you’ve experienced this before but it seems like that everything you do isn’t satisfying. There are a couple websites I like to browse for a good laugh but I’ve been getting this inner annoyance that makes me burst out loud “Ugh! I’m just so sick of the internet!” Or maybe a tradition of yours is to unwind and binge on Netflix, yet nothing you look at seems to satisfy.

This isn’t one of those “Christ is the only thing that fills that void” posts. Though true. It’s just that I feel I need to get this off my chest and out to those who read this that you’re not the only one who feels this way. Or maybe I’m the only one experiencing this. 

I don’t know what it is. What I do know is that it’s frustrating. I feel like there’s gotta be something that I’m missing. It’s not a bible study, or devotions, or a hobby, or anything else that I’m needing. I struggle even as I write this on how else to explain it.

Am I crazy?!

Selling Jesus

We got an electric bill for $200 this past month. The month before was only $100. I’m trying to budget and I can’t even get a read on what to put for the electric. One month it’s low, the next it’s high. Thankfully our contract is up next month and we can shop around for better electric rates.
We’ve been praying for something to come through and the other night there was a knock on the door.
Enter Junai.
Junai is a worker from an energy company and he just happened to be in our apartment complex. He was telling me about all these awesome perks for electric to reduce my bill even more! If I pay online it’s less, if I debit it out it’s less. And you know when you talk to someone you kind of learn some personal stuff as well.
He asked what my wife and I do for a living and I mentioned she works at our church and I teach students and lead worship for a church and he seemed intrigued. I told him that if he didn’t have a church he should come to ours.
Junai said that it had been a while since he’s been at church. He feels that he doesn’t belong at church.
That’s where my heart breaks.
This is where we’ve failed as the body of Christ.
We show hate, Jesus shows love.
We say work, Jesus says come.
We say do, Jesus says done.
Junai and millions of others have been hurt because we haven’t sold them on Jesus.

Dear 2014,

I don’t expect you to do anything for me. I’m going to make my year only with the help of Christ. I had a good 2013. I had a son. Received a raise at work. Watched the Pirates make the post season for the first time in over 2 decades. Celebrated a one year anniversary with my wife. A pretty good year.
What I want this year is to be able to pray more. To write more. To speak more softly and lovingly to my wife. To read your word more often. To obey. To lead my family in your kingdom. To be unashamed and sold out for your love. To help more of those who are in need. And finally to lead others to your name.
Sincerely,
Matt